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According to the Mayans (so many people tell us), the world will end on December 21st. Here’s how you can tell if the world has ended on the morning of the 22nd:

  • You wake up with one hell of a hangover and think … “Hey, I didn’t drink anything yesterday!”
  • You look for your slippers on the floor and notice that your bed is gone … that the floor is gone … and that the ground is gone, too!
  • People are running past your window. You live on the fifth floor.
  • Some guy wearing a white sheet and wings on his back is playing a trumpet really loud.
  • Your neighbor is making a frightful racket. When you go to complain, you find that his house has been replaced by a volcano.
  • The sky is full of yellow spaceships marked “Vogon Demolition, Inc”. For some reason they make you think of the number 42.
  • The weather forecast predicts temperatures in the mid-2000’s, with ash cloud cover and rather heavy wind.
  • The authorities are loudly proclaiming that “The situation is fully under control, and the world has NOT ended!”
  • Your house is swaying. When you look outside, you find it’s because it is floating on the sea. You used to live far inland.
  • A bunch of small, red fellows with horns and pointy tails are telling you to come along, because “The boss has an offer you *cannot* refuse!” You get a nasty feeling that the time you spent learning to play the harp was wasted.
The End!

The End!

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